How we eat alone

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“…Food means pleasure, culture and conviviality.” That’s the message behind the Slow Food movement’s Food and Taste Education program. Do we really need to be educated about something that seems so obvious? Apparently so.

Yesterday in the Washington Post, J. Freedom du Lac wrote about a trend seen in both casual restaurants and more high-end dining spots: people who eat a meal alone, but never put down their smart phones. Some restaurateurs don’t like it because they think their food should be the focus of the dining experience, but most are resigned to it. Even those restaurants that have a ban on devices realize that they can’t enforce it.

In the past, solo diners would often take a book or a newspaper with them to a restaurant to avoid the social awkwardness of eating alone. Is the iPhone or iPad any different? Does it represent a need for constant stimulation, and an inability to be alone with our thoughts; or does it mean that we crave contact with other people, even at a distance?

I’m wondering if restaurants that have incorporated communal tables might have found the answer. The concept emerged first in New York City and on the West Coast, but now most cities have at least one or two restaurants where patrons can dine together.  Some people have been slow to embrace it, and some will never like it, but my experience is that it does have the potential to generate conversation and the conviviality that the Slow Food movement teaches. On-line comments indicate that the communal table might be a boon to the solo diner in avoiding the crutch of the iPhone. The web site solodining.com even posts a list of restaurants that have communal tables.

What about the pleasure of eating?  Dining alone may actually give us an opportunity to savor our food and experience it more fully than when we are with others; but because we feel uncomfortable eating alone in public, we tend to rush through it. If we can resist that urge, and incorporate principles of mindfulness to the act of eating, we could be rewarded with a deeper, more satisfying sensory experience.

Jan Chazen Bays has written what many consider to be the definitive book on mindful eating. When she discusses people’s issues surrounding food, she says that “The problem is not in the food…The problem lies in the mind. It lies in our lack of awareness of the messages coming in from our body”. One of the principles of eating mindfully, according to the Center for Mindful Eating, is “Choosing to eat food that is both pleasing to you and nourishing to your body by using all your senses to explore, savor and taste.”

So, the next time you find yourself eating alone, whether at home or in a restaurant, try making your meal more of a sensory experience. Take a moment to breathe. Think about where the food came from, and your connection to the land where it grew, the person who produced it, the path it took to get to you, the people who prepared it and served it to you. Thich Nhat Hanh writes, “We can see and taste the whole universe in a piece of bread! Contemplating our food for a few seconds before eating, and eating in mindfulness, can bring us much happiness.”

Zzzzzzzz

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It’s cold outside, the leaves are falling, days are shorter and today it’s snowing! My body craves sleep more than ever.

While humans are not considered seasonal animals, some of us do experience stronger responses to seasonal changes. People with seasonal affective disorder (a form of depression that impacts people primarily in the northern latitudes) feel the change more than most. Recent research shows that they secrete more melatonin at night during the winter than they do in the summer. Melatonin is the hormone that makes us drowsy, and we produce it in response to darkness.

In a little over a week, we’ll be going off daylight savings time, which will require an adjustment of our internal clocks (also known as our circadian rhythms). This change is a stressor for us, throwing our bodies out of equilibrium, and some people can need as much as a week to make the shift. Moving time ahead in the spring is considered harder than falling back, but you could still experience an increase in daytime sleepiness until you get used to the fall time change.

Most of us already experience a low point in wakefulness in the early afternoon, so when the time changes, we could be even more prone to problems with concentration and productivity. It is a good idea to be more careful than usual to avoid accidents.

Seasonal adjustments are worse if you are one of the 63% of people who say they don’t get enough sleep. Sleep problems and sleep deprivation have been associated with memory problems, being overweight, and having reduced immunity to disease. A new study out of Norway even shows that people with the most symptoms of insomnia have the most heart attacks. Lack of sleep could cause these problems because the body stores memories and repairs itself during sleep. Melatonin (the hormone that promotes sleep) acts as an antioxidant, cleaning up damaging free radicals while we sleep. If we don’t sleep enough, we miss out on that protective benefit.

Getting a good night’s sleep on a regular basis is also linked to living a longer, healthier life. So what can you do to sleep better and handle the time change more smoothly?

  • Go to bed at the same time every day and get up at the same time every day.
  • Get regular exercise each day (especially aerobic and stretching), but not too close to bedtime.
  • Expose yourself to outdoor (or bright) light each day.
  • Keep your bedroom a little on the cool side.
  • Make your bedroom quiet and dark. Turn off or cover anything with a glow (cell phones, digital clocks, and other electronics); and use white noise or ear plugs to muffle noises.
  • Use your bed only for sleep or sex.
  • Allow about 2 hours for “winding down” before going to sleep. Dim the lights, listen to quiet music, minimize screen time.

No-no’s:

  • Caffeine in the evening; too much alcohol                                           
  • Watching TV in bed
  • Eating too much or too little
  • Unprescribed sleeping pills
  • Forcing sleep
  • Sleeping with children or pets

And if you’re especially sensitive to the change back to standard time, these tips from the National Sleep Foundation might help:

  • On the night of the change, resist staying up much later than usual. Try to get your usual amount of sleep.
  • Be sure to use curtains or blinds to keep your room dark in the morning; it will be brighter at an earlier time which could cause you to wake sooner than you intend to.
  • Try making a gradual shift in your sleep/wake time over a few days.

For fun, you might want to check out this link for a list of 10 songs about sleep. Sweet dreams!

Relax into better health

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Last Thursday, I was privileged to hear Dr. Herbert Benson, a leader in the field of mind-body medicine, give the keynote address kicking off Mind-Body Week D.C. Although he reiterated much of the material found in his many books and papers, it was still a treat for me to hear him discuss it.

Dr. Benson started his research over 40 years ago as a young medical doctor. At a time when doing research into the connection between mind and body, and spirituality and healing, could be a sure-fire career-ender, he was brave enough to pursue it. In doing so, he defined the effect known as the “relaxation response” and conducted study after study showing how it could be evoked, and what its benefits are.

Benson believes that medical care should consist of what he calls the “3-legged stool”, where the three legs are self-care, medications and procedures. In order for us to have optimal wellness, all three legs must be utilized as needed. His life’s work has been to show how our ability to use the first leg, to heal ourselves, is real and powerful.

In his ground-breaking book, The Relaxation Response, first published in 1975, Benson explained how the relaxation response could counteract the effects of the stress (or “fight or flight”) response. In fact, the relaxation response is the direct opposite of the stress response. In essence, we cannot be stressed and relaxed at the same time.

Benson also demystified meditation for people. While his initial research started with transcendental meditation, he demonstrated how the relaxation response could be achieved using some basic elements of T.M., without needing a mantra or a spiritual guru. Anyone can access it without cost or special equipment. Here are the steps he recommends:

  • Choose a word or phrase on which to focus (some examples are words such as love, peace, or one; or words with religious meaning).
  • Sit quietly in a comfortable position that you can maintain for some time.
  • Close your eyes and relax your muscles.
  • Breathe slowly and naturally, repeating your focus word as you exhale.
  • Maintain a passive, non-judging attitude. If your mind wanders, keep coming back to your breath and your word.
  • Continue in this manner for 10-20 minutes (beginners should try for 5 minutes at a time).

Using mental focusing techniques to bring about relaxation is not radical now as it was in 1975. But it is still not fully a part of Western medicine. Integrative medicine centers exist at many hospitals, but it often seems that they function alongside, rather than as full partners with the traditional departments. That’s too bad, because over the years, Herbert Benson and others have developed a body of research that shows that regularly practicing relaxation:

  • Can lead to lower blood pressure and lower heart rate
  • Reduces metabolism and breathing rate
  • Reduces the harmful effects of stress
  • Leads to changes on the genetic level in areas that control inflammation, aging, and insulin use

By calling upon our ability to relax, we can reduce the physical symptoms of stress. We also have the potential to reduce our use of the health care system since a majority of doctor visits are for stress-related complaints. We can take more control of our health.

Deepak Chopra has said “Meditation is not a way of making your mind quiet. It’s a way of entering into the quiet that’s already there – buried under the 50,000 thoughts the average person thinks every day”. When we regularly experience that quiet, it can also open a mental door that allows us to be receptive to ideas. In that way, a regular relaxation practice can also help us learn, be more creative, and think more clearly.

Life is a laughing matter

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Sometimes it seems like every day brings more bad news. My advice? Don’t forget to laugh.

Laughter can be profoundly healing. I recently read the results of a new study showing that laughter and humor were as effective as drugs for reducing agitation in a group of Alzheimer’s patients. Sight gags and verbal humor were used to get the patients to participate and react. Virtually everyone benefited, and the results were found to last beyond the duration of the study.

We are all born knowing how to laugh, although our sense of humor is learned later. Some people seem to laugh more “naturally” than others; but it is a skill that can be fostered and improved, and there are good reasons to do it.

  •  Laughter leads to immediate increases in heart rate, respiratory rate, and oxygen consumption (similar to exercise) and is followed by muscle relaxation, as well as decreases in heart rate, respiratory rate and blood pressure
  • A good belly laugh provides a physical workout for the lungs and abdominal muscles
  • Laughing provides tension relief in the neck and shoulders
  • Laughing may decrease stress hormones and enhance the immune system
  • Laughter is a distraction from negative thoughts and feelings
  • Laughter can provide social bonding with others

That’s why Dr. Madan Kataria started the movement known as Laughter Yoga back in 1995 in Mumbai. As a medical doctor, he was always intrigued with the concept of “Laughter is the best medicine”. So he started getting together with a group of people in a park every morning just to laugh — for no reason other than the joy of laughing.

Today Laughter Yoga has swept the globe and there are thousands of clubs in over 60 countries. People have joined together to laugh in workplaces, schools and public places. The groups have even inspired a documentary by Mira Nair, The Laughing Club of India.

Humor can be an advantage in the workplace, if used appropriately. Studies conducted by Melissa Wanzer of Canisius College have shown that employees have higher job satisfaction and view their managers more positively when the manager is perceived to be humor-oriented. She also found that humor can be a beneficial coping strategy for workers in high-stress occupations; and that students say they learn more from teachers who use humor in the classroom.

Laughter and humor may even protect you from heart disease. A University of Maryland study showed that people with heart disease laughed less often than others; and that they did not  turn to humor as often as others did in response to daily life situations.

How can you start bringing more humor into your life? Begin by not taking yourself too seriously. Learn to recognize the absurdity in certain situations and just laugh at it. Build a humor library of movies, jokes, tv shows and cartoons that you can turn to when you need a laugh. Here are some of my favorites:

Enjoy!

Time Zapper

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When people are asked about stressors in their lives, one of the most common answers is not having enough time. Yet, we don’t always acknowledge that we can be our own worst enemies when it comes to creating time crunches for ourselves.

Sometimes time pressures result from genuinely having too much to do. But often they come from either inability to set boundaries for our time, or frequently, from our own unproductive work habits. Probably nothing has had a bigger effect on procrastination and low productivity at work than email, whether it’s our habit of reflexively checking it every five minutes or our expectation that it will be read immediately.

Although we see commercials on TV of people seamlessly and instantaneously completing international business deals with a click of the smart phone, in reality many business and personal transactions take place only after a long string of emails back and forth. The question is, is that the best way to get things done?

Chris Anderson, curator of the TED conference, addressed this topic in last Sunday’s Washington Post. He believes that email volume is getting out of hand in part because email is “easier to create than to respond to”. Someone sends you an email, crosses that off their to-do list, and leaves you with the harder job of formulating an answer. Worst, Anderson says, are the emails with open-ended questions, such as “What are your thoughts?”

Because people have come to expect rapid responses to emails, the recipient is then stuck with deciding whether to drop other (probably more important) work to come up with an adequate answer to that open-ended question, or to leave it in the inbox for a while and let the email pile up.

As long as 20 years ago, some early tech pioneers had already given up email and gone back to using the telephone as a primary tool of communication. Sherry Turkle of MIT may have coined the term “email bankruptcy” after her research showed that people wanted to wipe out all the email in their inboxes. Since then, there have been regular news stories about people who have done just that – deleted all their unanswered emails, and started over with a clean slate.

Stephen Covey, in his books on time management, recommends dividing tasks into a matrix:

  1. Urgent & Important;
  2. Important but Not Urgent;
  3. Urgent but Not Important; and
  4. Not Urgent or Important.

He believes that most time should be spent working in quadrant 2 (important, but not urgent), doing things like planning, relationship building and personal development. The problem might be when you think you are relationship building by sending someone an email, when you’re actually creating a quadrant 3 (urgent, but not important) task for them by expecting them to respond!

With that in mind, Anderson and others at TED have come up with the Email Charter, which is basically a list of principles to abide by when sending email. All the principles are designed to “encourage senders to reduce the time, effort and stress required of responders.” They include points such as “no open-ended questions” and use of the acronym, “NNTR”, which stands for “No need to respond”.

Some other things we might ask ourselves:

  • Is email the best form of communication for this message? Will I be better understood if I call or talk face to face instead?
  • How often do I really need to check my emails? Would once an hour be appropriate? How about every two hours, or three times a day? Figure out what is best for you and try to make it a habit.
  • If you cannot resist checking the email, consider downloading software that will block it for you. Programs such as SelfControl can block email servers and Facebook for a set amount of time, and not let you use them until the timer runs out.
  • Can you declare an email vacation once a week, or once a month? Plan a day without checking or responding to emails. You’d be surprised how much time you have for things like family, friends, reading a book or going for a walk.

Ultimately, we need to figure out if the things that are least important in our lives are getting the most attention. Sherry Turkle has said, “Sometimes we’re too busy communicating to listen to each other.” Can we break the cycle?

“We owe our children”*

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Nelson Mandela once said, “There can be no keener revelation of a society’s soul than the way in which it treats its children.” When I consider the somber headlines of the past week or so, I wonder about our soul:

  • Census data show that one in six Americans is living in poverty, including 22% of children last year (40% of black children).
  • Poverty has increased for four years in a row.
  • The proportion of children with at least one unemployed parent doubled between 2007 and 2010, and there is evidence that a parent’s job loss can have a negative effect on children’s academic performance.
  • A new study showed an increase in child abuse, specifically against infants, linked to the recession.

When children grow up in poverty, they grow up with chronic stress. Constant change and uncertainty in their lives causes biological responses that result in wear and tear on their bodies and minds. Long-term stress can damage the part of the brain called the hippocampus, which is essential to learning and memory.

This helps explain why many children who come from poverty don’t do as well in school, and are less likely to graduate from high school. According to the Children’s Defense Fund, they lag in both intellectual and emotional development, and they are more likely to become the poor parents of the future.

Even if your only interest is your self-interest, you should care about these statistics. The longer we have so many children living in poverty, the more our country loses economically from lower productivity, poorer health and higher crime rates.

Last Sunday’s Washington Post ran an editorial titled “Debt Reduction with Compassion”. It argued that we cannot reduce the deficit on the backs of the most vulnerable in society. We have to recognize how much people have suffered and lost during the recession, and not cut off the safety net for them. But how often do we hear the word “compassion” in the current political climate?

I’ve been thinking about what any one of us can do to make a difference for children. Here are some ideas:

  • Think about who and what you vote for. Which candidates are committed to keeping funding in place for programs that benefit children?
  • Be an advocate, in your community and beyond. Speak out about legislation and programs that are important for ensuring a happy and healthy next generation
  • Support teachers and education in your community.
  • Support the organizations that are working to change lives, such as:

Children’s Defense Fund – In existence for 35 years, this organization works to “ensure a level playing field for all children” and to “lift children out of poverty”

Feeding America – Works with a network of food banks to eliminate hunger in America; child hunger is a priority.

HIPPY (Home Instruction for Parents of Preschool Youngsters) – A parent-involvement, school-readiness program that operates on the idea that parents are their children’s first teachers.

Boys & Girls Clubs of America – Their mission is “To enable all young people, especially those who need us most, to reach their full potential as productive, caring, responsible citizens,” through programs in leadership, education, life skills, sports and fitness, and the arts

What do we want the soul of our society to look like? If we truly care about giving our children and grandchildren a decent life, then “all of us have to recognize that we owe our children more than we have been giving them”.*

 

*Hillary Clinton

Learning to feed ourselves

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Chances are that unless you are at least 40, “Home Economics” class didn’t even exist when you were in school, but could it make a comeback?

In a recent New York Times op-ed, Helen Zoe Veit, a history professor at Michigan State University, argued that we should bring Home Ec back to the schools as a weapon in the fight against obesity and chronic disease. She believes that teaching children to cook, and giving them information about nutrition, can empower them to take control of the food they eat.

As someone who loved Home Ec (my siblings called me “Suzy Homemaker”), I agree wholeheartedly. Here are the lessons I learned in home ec that I still use on a regular basis:

  • How to operate kitchen appliances, large and small
  • How to read a recipe
  • The proper way to measure ingredients (level!)
  • How to sew on a button

Those might sound like simple things, but I know many people who cannot do them, or more importantly, think they can’t. The most lasting lesson I learned was that I could do those things and do them competently.

Somewhere along the way, as our focus turned outside our homes, and our society became more technology-driven, we forgot how to take care of ourselves. These days, we abdicate feeding ourselves to restaurants, fast food chains and supermarket kitchens; we give our buttons to the tailor or dry cleaner to sew; and we often hire others to clean our houses, mow our lawns and rake our leaves. Would we be healthier if we took some of that back?

Just in the area of how we eat, here are some sobering facts:

  • Fifty percent of our meals were eaten away from home in 2010.
  • We consume 50% more calories, fat and sodium when we eat out.
  • The daily calorie intake of children is significantly affected by where they eat, and where their food comes from. The percent of calories from fast food is now greater for them than the percent of calories they get from school foods.
  • When families eat together, they eat more fruits and vegetables, fewer fried foods, and less soda. (For tips on making family dinners easier, see WebMD.)
  • Kids who have regular meals with their parents tend to do better in every area of wellness – they get better grades, have healthier relationships, don’t get into trouble as much, and engage less often in risky behaviors such as drinking and smoking.

Some middle schools and high schools do still teach cooking. In my local middle school, there are courses in “Family & Consumer Science” and “Foods & Nutrition”. The high school offers “Food Trends & Technology”. The problem is that these courses are electives, and with the pressure for academic achievement and improved test scores, I don’t think it’s very likely that they are going to become mandatory courses any time soon.

The time and place to start is elementary school, and there seems to be some momentum there:

  •  School gardens are popping up in lots of districts, with California seeming to lead the way (for example, Alice Waters’ Edible Schoolyard project).
  • Grants for school gardens are available from the Whole Kids charitable foundation.
  • The Slow Food in Schools Project offers many examples on their website of how to integrate food into the curriculum.

Perhaps the most visible advocate for better food and healthier kids is Jamie Oliver. He has brought together a number of organizations for his Food Revolution campaign. He has said, “The only message I keep hearing is that you believe your kids need better food, and that you want help to keep cooking skills alive.”

Another way of putting it: “Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish; and you have fed him for a lifetime.”

An apple (or more) a day

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“Fruit & Veggies – More Matters” – that’s the slogan promoting the consumption of produce in the U.S., but I don’t think people have gotten the message. In most states, fewer than 15% of adults eat five servings of fruit/veggies a day.  The CDC and the Produce for Better Health Foundation would like us all to eat a lot more fruits and vegetables. And to encourage us, September is designated as “Fruit & Veggies – More Matters” month.

Usually when I think about eating more fruits and vegetables, I think of the peak of summer – June and July – when I can get fresh blueberries, peaches, corn and luscious tomatoes. But there is actually a lot of tradition and evidence for making September the month for establishing new habits, especially the habit of eating more produce.

September is a time of new beginnings. It is the start of the school year and the start of the religious year in some faith traditions. September is also a traditional harvest month. It signals the end of summer and the start of fall. Times of seasonal change can throw many people off-balance or cause illness. That’s why acupuncturists recommend a treatment at the change of seasons, and why Yoga Journal magazine is offering a seasonal de-tox plan in its September issue. So it makes sense to use this month to re-set our eating habits as well.

The great thing about the “More matters” campaign is that it’s all about eating more of something rather than giving something up. Who wouldn’t rather hear “yes” than “no”? In fact, there are several popular weight-loss programs based on the concept of eating more of the right foods, rather than focusing as much on giving up the bad foods. The idea seems to be that if we give ourselves the nutrients that our bodies need and want, we will gradually crave fewer of the toxic foods that are harming us.

A recent study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association even indirectly supports the “more matters” concept in terms of lowering bad cholesterol. It found that adding cholesterol-lowering foods to people’s diets resulted in significantly greater reductions in LDL cholesterol than reducing fat in the diet did.

Why do more fruits and veggies matter? There is evidence to show that a diet rich in them can help prevent heart disease, bone loss, type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, and even some types of cancer. Most of that action comes from phytochemicals, compounds that are made by plants. Antioxidants, which clean up “free radicals” in cells, are one important type of phytochemical.

Although summer fruits and veggies like corn and peaches are almost gone, we can enjoy cranberries, beets, broccoli and cauliflower, as well as these tasty treats in the next couple of months:

  • Raspberries – besides being tasty, raspberries contain a phytochemical that helps prevent cancer
  • Apples – have vitamin C and other antioxidants that help prevent cancer; plus the fiber makes you feel full, which can help with weight loss
  • Pumpkins – contain carotenoids, a type of antioxidant; lutein, which is an antioxidant especially helpful to the eyes; plus iron, zinc and fiber
  • Chard, and other leafy greens – important for their carotenoids, lutein, iron and vitamins C & K

If you need help with knowing how many servings to eat each day, how to buy fresh fruits and vegetables on a budget or with how to cook them, check out these web sites:

  • Choosemyplate.gov has an online calculator for determining your specific nutritional needs.
  • For information on buying fresh produce on a budget, click here.
  • A recipe page allows you to select the type of meal and the fruit or vegetable you want to use, and provides a recipe for it.

Happy Eating!

When you wish upon a tree…

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Just last week, I became aware that we have a wishing tree in Washington, D.C. It is located at the Hirshhorn Museum Sculpture Garden on the National Mall, and it is part of an interactive project conceived by Yoko Ono. She often saw wishing trees at Japanese temples when she was a child, and decided to make the Wish Trees part of her exhibits around the world.

So last Monday, I decided to get myself down to our Wish Tree and see what kinds of things people were wishing for. The wishes ran the gamut from the expected, to the poignant, to the humorous. People wished for jobs, better health, reconciliation and world peace. One person wished for “peace and prosperity for Africa”; another wished for a second term for “our great President Obama”; and someone else wished that it was okay for Washingtonians to be “just a bit more weird”!

Not everyone wants something for himself. Many write wishes with other people in mind. One person even wished that she could give up her wish so that all the others would come true. Those kind of aspirations made me think of the Make-a-Wish Foundation, which grants wishes to very sick children. Their mission is to enrich the lives of desperately ill children, giving them some hope and joy. They rely on a group of volunteers called “wish granters” to help realize the dreams of the children. One of these wish granters has said that “Helping them get their wish is the best feeling ever.”

So is it better to have my own wish come true, or to see someone else get their wish? The Bible says, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Does the good feeling of seeing another person happy last longer than our own gratification? I guess it depends on your perspective. We all fall prey to the ‘center of the universe’ trap, where we get so hyper-focused on our own problems and needs that we can’t see that someone else might have the same or worse situation. Whether we give a wish or another kind of gift, focusing on another gets us out of the trap, focuses our energies outward, and helps us be more positive.

Where do all the wishes go? So far, over 250,000 children have had their wishes granted by Make-a-Wish. All of the Wish Tree wishes are sent to Iceland, where they are placed in capsules around the Imagine Peace Tower on the Isle of Videy. About a million and a half wishes have been accumulated since the project began. The Imagine Peace Tower is a tower of light that is a tribute to John Lennon, and to his and Yoko’s campaign for world peace. It is a reminder that we are all connected by peace and love.

Imagine that.