Category: Health

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On our wedding day, many years ago, my husband started to say the vows he had written. “I will study…” he began, and then he paused.  I was confused – had he started to give the wrong speech? What did studying have to do with loving me or being committed to our marriage?

After a second or two, my husband went on to say something about studying our past to learn how to keep our relationship strong in the future. But as I think about it now, maybe a commitment to studying has its place in the vows along with “in sickness and in health”.

A new report from the U.K. shows how our brains can continue to develop new neurons, preserve the existing ones, and possibly improve the connection between neurons, if we challenge ourselves mentally. The researchers looked at people training to become London taxi drivers. Over a 3-4 year period, the drivers are required to learn the names and locations of about 25,000 streets and 20,000 landmarks in London. By the end of the training, brain images of successful driver trainees showed an increase in gray matter in the part of the hippocampus related to spatial navigation and memory. In other words, they grew new brain cells.

The study’s authors concluded that our brains remain “plastic” – capable of adapting – even as adults. But learning new tasks and skills is what prompts the response. Their work offers hope to people recovering from brain injuries, and refutes the adage, “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks”. If we needed more encouragement to be lifelong learners, this is certainly it.

“Lifelong learning” has been associated with continuing professional education to stay abreast of the latest developments in your field of work. It has also fostered programs such as Elderhostel and other classes for seniors. But in the current economy, with so much job insecurity, continuous learning has become critical for people wishing to remain competitive by learning new skills that will enhance their ability to get and retain a job.

Becoming a lifelong learner is also a way to spark personal growth, and to find meaning in your life. Taking classes, or getting involved in new experiences that have nothing to do with a job, can prompt a renewed sense of curiosity about the world. For people who might be facing job insecurity, studying something unrelated is both a distraction and a way to succeed in another arena.

What are some other benefits of learning new things?  Greater knowledge and experience can help people deal with stress better because they can use it to dispute some of their irrational beliefs about stressful events. Mastering new skills also gives self-confidence a boost, which can increase resiliency. Since chronic stress can actually cause cellular aging, reducing stress and boosting the development of new brain cells might slow some of the decline we see with age.

So what does all this have to do with the marriage vows? By staying mentally sharp and healthy, the “sickness” part of “in sickness and in health” could possibly be minimized. By learning new things, being open to growth and change, someone is more likely to be open to a partner’s perspective. And let’s face it: often when people say they are bored with their husband or wife, they are really bored with themselves. So taking a class, learning a sport or finding your way around a new city makes you a more interesting person, and possibly keeps your relationship interesting too.

When my husband said he would study, he referred to us and our relationship. But I see now that studying the world, staying curious, and engaging in self-discovery is what makes each of us, and all of our relationships, stronger and healthier.

Be the mountain

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Grounded! What is the first thought that comes to mind when you hear that word? If you’re a child, you probably associate it with the punishment of being confined to home for a while. A pilot might also view it as punitive, not being allowed to fly. But someone who is trying to connect with awareness and being present in the moment sees “being grounded” as something quite beneficial. Are the positive and negative definitions really so far apart?

I started thinking about grounding yesterday during some restorative poses in yoga class. Our teacher was talking about surrendering to gravity, letting the earth support us, and how gravity is such an elemental force in the universe. Sometimes we need to reestablish that connection to solid ground, especially after times of intense activity or stress in our lives.

Children want to “fly” most of the time. They have so much energy and they are growing so rapidly that sometimes they go too far, too fast, and a time-out or grounding is necessary. As adults, we can self-impose our time-outs, but, like children, we don’t always recognize that we need one. Or, if we do acknowledge the need, we delay it until we “have time”.

Periods of disruption to our daily routines, such as a lot of travel, caring for a family member, or even preparing for holidays can make us feel as if our feet have left the ground for a while. Sometimes we have the luxury of being able to take a few days at home to rejuvenate, but most times we don’t. In those cases it can be helpful to have some tools to help us stay grounded even in the midst of turmoil.

  • Mountain Meditation – there are several versions of this meditation. I use one from Frank Jude Boccio with my students:   Start by sitting in a comfortable, stable and supported position. Imagine a very tall, impressive mountain; think about how the mountain might change with the seasons or the weather, sometimes visible, other times covered with clouds; sometimes green, other times snow-covered. But throughout the changes, the mountain remains stable. Think of your posture as mountain-like, and think of your emotions and experiences as coming and going like the clouds and the sunshine. You have the ability to maintain stability just like the mountain.
  • Get your hands dirty – Jeff Brantley and Wendy Millstine recommend this practice in their book, Five Good Minutes:    Spend some time digging in sand or dirt, working in your garden, or even repotting a houseplant. Focus on how the soil feels, and what it nourishes. (Bread-making, or working with other kinds of dough, would provide a similar experience.)
  • Restorative yoga – this type of yoga practice requires little in the way of experience or special ability. It uses lots of props such as blankets and blocks to support you while you rest in different postures. For a good overview of the practice see the Yoga Journal web page.
  • Take a sensory walk – this walk will serve to focus your awareness and heighten your experience of your surroundings. Be sure to turn off your phone before you start, and bring along some food or gum for the taste portion of the walk:  Go for a walk, and spend three minutes or so concentrating on each sense one at a time. So, first focus just on the sounds around you; then the smells; next, touch everything that you can; and finally see everything around you as if for the first time. After that, find a place to sit down and close your eyes. Spend the last three minutes on taste, using the food that you brought with you. When you are finished, get up and walk again, using all of your senses. Allow yourself to experience whatever presents itself, without too much planning or judgment.

John Muir said, “I never saw a discontented tree. They grip the ground as though they liked it, and though fast rooted they travel about as far as we do. “

5 Intentions for a Happy Thanksgiving

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Six days and counting until Thanksgiving…what will your holiday look like? Calm or frantic? Happy or conflicted? Holidays can be stressful, often bringing out the worst in us if we let them. In yoga class, our teacher sometimes asks us to “set an intention” for the practice: something that we would like to focus on or work toward. In that spirit, here are my intentions for the next few days; maybe they will work for you too:

1. Spend time each day planning for the next one.

Time management gurus like Brian Tracy say that each minute spent planning will save 5 to 10 minutes in carrying out the task. This can be accomplished by sitting down each evening for 5 minutes to make lists, check the next day’s calendar, and block out time for priority tasks. Focusing on the most important tasks for each day, dividing them up to correspond with blocks of free time, and eliminating unnecessary tasks will help each day be more productive.

2. Ask for and accept help; take shortcuts when they serve me.

No one can do it all. So let go of the perfectionist tendencies and controlling instincts. Graciously allow others to help with the shopping, cook part of the meal, or set the table. Most likely they will be glad to be asked. Buy some foods already-prepared, especially the ones you don’t excel at or find tedious to prepare (gravy comes to mind!)

3. Take care of myself.

When people feel better, they can be more present for those they care about. During stressful holiday times, it is more important than ever to make health a priority. Exercising will give you more energy. Drinking plenty of water will help fight fatigue and improve appearance. Eating healthy in the days leading up to Thanksgiving feels good and allows for guilt-free splurging on the big day. And if stress catches up with you anyway, take five minutes just to sit and breathe.

4. Have fun each day.

Scheduling time for play or recreation is part of time management too. We all deserve a break to watch a funny movie or play a game with the family. These shared experiences will become part of everyone’s memories of the holiday.

5. Remember to be thankful.

Voltaire once said that “the perfect is the enemy of the good”, and the Thanksgiving holiday is a good time to think about what that means. Don’t strive for a perfect meal worthy of Martha Stewart, but one that will be joyfully eaten with family and friends. If your home isn’t perfectly cleaned and decorated, be glad that it is full of warmth and good cheer. Replace criticism of loved ones with appreciation, even with all of their quirks and imperfections.

As I celebrate Thanksgiving, I will keep these words of Thornton Wilder in mind: “We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures.”

How we eat alone

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“…Food means pleasure, culture and conviviality.” That’s the message behind the Slow Food movement’s Food and Taste Education program. Do we really need to be educated about something that seems so obvious? Apparently so.

Yesterday in the Washington Post, J. Freedom du Lac wrote about a trend seen in both casual restaurants and more high-end dining spots: people who eat a meal alone, but never put down their smart phones. Some restaurateurs don’t like it because they think their food should be the focus of the dining experience, but most are resigned to it. Even those restaurants that have a ban on devices realize that they can’t enforce it.

In the past, solo diners would often take a book or a newspaper with them to a restaurant to avoid the social awkwardness of eating alone. Is the iPhone or iPad any different? Does it represent a need for constant stimulation, and an inability to be alone with our thoughts; or does it mean that we crave contact with other people, even at a distance?

I’m wondering if restaurants that have incorporated communal tables might have found the answer. The concept emerged first in New York City and on the West Coast, but now most cities have at least one or two restaurants where patrons can dine together.  Some people have been slow to embrace it, and some will never like it, but my experience is that it does have the potential to generate conversation and the conviviality that the Slow Food movement teaches. On-line comments indicate that the communal table might be a boon to the solo diner in avoiding the crutch of the iPhone. The web site solodining.com even posts a list of restaurants that have communal tables.

What about the pleasure of eating?  Dining alone may actually give us an opportunity to savor our food and experience it more fully than when we are with others; but because we feel uncomfortable eating alone in public, we tend to rush through it. If we can resist that urge, and incorporate principles of mindfulness to the act of eating, we could be rewarded with a deeper, more satisfying sensory experience.

Jan Chazen Bays has written what many consider to be the definitive book on mindful eating. When she discusses people’s issues surrounding food, she says that “The problem is not in the food…The problem lies in the mind. It lies in our lack of awareness of the messages coming in from our body”. One of the principles of eating mindfully, according to the Center for Mindful Eating, is “Choosing to eat food that is both pleasing to you and nourishing to your body by using all your senses to explore, savor and taste.”

So, the next time you find yourself eating alone, whether at home or in a restaurant, try making your meal more of a sensory experience. Take a moment to breathe. Think about where the food came from, and your connection to the land where it grew, the person who produced it, the path it took to get to you, the people who prepared it and served it to you. Thich Nhat Hanh writes, “We can see and taste the whole universe in a piece of bread! Contemplating our food for a few seconds before eating, and eating in mindfulness, can bring us much happiness.”

Zzzzzzzz

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It’s cold outside, the leaves are falling, days are shorter and today it’s snowing! My body craves sleep more than ever.

While humans are not considered seasonal animals, some of us do experience stronger responses to seasonal changes. People with seasonal affective disorder (a form of depression that impacts people primarily in the northern latitudes) feel the change more than most. Recent research shows that they secrete more melatonin at night during the winter than they do in the summer. Melatonin is the hormone that makes us drowsy, and we produce it in response to darkness.

In a little over a week, we’ll be going off daylight savings time, which will require an adjustment of our internal clocks (also known as our circadian rhythms). This change is a stressor for us, throwing our bodies out of equilibrium, and some people can need as much as a week to make the shift. Moving time ahead in the spring is considered harder than falling back, but you could still experience an increase in daytime sleepiness until you get used to the fall time change.

Most of us already experience a low point in wakefulness in the early afternoon, so when the time changes, we could be even more prone to problems with concentration and productivity. It is a good idea to be more careful than usual to avoid accidents.

Seasonal adjustments are worse if you are one of the 63% of people who say they don’t get enough sleep. Sleep problems and sleep deprivation have been associated with memory problems, being overweight, and having reduced immunity to disease. A new study out of Norway even shows that people with the most symptoms of insomnia have the most heart attacks. Lack of sleep could cause these problems because the body stores memories and repairs itself during sleep. Melatonin (the hormone that promotes sleep) acts as an antioxidant, cleaning up damaging free radicals while we sleep. If we don’t sleep enough, we miss out on that protective benefit.

Getting a good night’s sleep on a regular basis is also linked to living a longer, healthier life. So what can you do to sleep better and handle the time change more smoothly?

  • Go to bed at the same time every day and get up at the same time every day.
  • Get regular exercise each day (especially aerobic and stretching), but not too close to bedtime.
  • Expose yourself to outdoor (or bright) light each day.
  • Keep your bedroom a little on the cool side.
  • Make your bedroom quiet and dark. Turn off or cover anything with a glow (cell phones, digital clocks, and other electronics); and use white noise or ear plugs to muffle noises.
  • Use your bed only for sleep or sex.
  • Allow about 2 hours for “winding down” before going to sleep. Dim the lights, listen to quiet music, minimize screen time.

No-no’s:

  • Caffeine in the evening; too much alcohol                                           
  • Watching TV in bed
  • Eating too much or too little
  • Unprescribed sleeping pills
  • Forcing sleep
  • Sleeping with children or pets

And if you’re especially sensitive to the change back to standard time, these tips from the National Sleep Foundation might help:

  • On the night of the change, resist staying up much later than usual. Try to get your usual amount of sleep.
  • Be sure to use curtains or blinds to keep your room dark in the morning; it will be brighter at an earlier time which could cause you to wake sooner than you intend to.
  • Try making a gradual shift in your sleep/wake time over a few days.

For fun, you might want to check out this link for a list of 10 songs about sleep. Sweet dreams!

Relax into better health

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Last Thursday, I was privileged to hear Dr. Herbert Benson, a leader in the field of mind-body medicine, give the keynote address kicking off Mind-Body Week D.C. Although he reiterated much of the material found in his many books and papers, it was still a treat for me to hear him discuss it.

Dr. Benson started his research over 40 years ago as a young medical doctor. At a time when doing research into the connection between mind and body, and spirituality and healing, could be a sure-fire career-ender, he was brave enough to pursue it. In doing so, he defined the effect known as the “relaxation response” and conducted study after study showing how it could be evoked, and what its benefits are.

Benson believes that medical care should consist of what he calls the “3-legged stool”, where the three legs are self-care, medications and procedures. In order for us to have optimal wellness, all three legs must be utilized as needed. His life’s work has been to show how our ability to use the first leg, to heal ourselves, is real and powerful.

In his ground-breaking book, The Relaxation Response, first published in 1975, Benson explained how the relaxation response could counteract the effects of the stress (or “fight or flight”) response. In fact, the relaxation response is the direct opposite of the stress response. In essence, we cannot be stressed and relaxed at the same time.

Benson also demystified meditation for people. While his initial research started with transcendental meditation, he demonstrated how the relaxation response could be achieved using some basic elements of T.M., without needing a mantra or a spiritual guru. Anyone can access it without cost or special equipment. Here are the steps he recommends:

  • Choose a word or phrase on which to focus (some examples are words such as love, peace, or one; or words with religious meaning).
  • Sit quietly in a comfortable position that you can maintain for some time.
  • Close your eyes and relax your muscles.
  • Breathe slowly and naturally, repeating your focus word as you exhale.
  • Maintain a passive, non-judging attitude. If your mind wanders, keep coming back to your breath and your word.
  • Continue in this manner for 10-20 minutes (beginners should try for 5 minutes at a time).

Using mental focusing techniques to bring about relaxation is not radical now as it was in 1975. But it is still not fully a part of Western medicine. Integrative medicine centers exist at many hospitals, but it often seems that they function alongside, rather than as full partners with the traditional departments. That’s too bad, because over the years, Herbert Benson and others have developed a body of research that shows that regularly practicing relaxation:

  • Can lead to lower blood pressure and lower heart rate
  • Reduces metabolism and breathing rate
  • Reduces the harmful effects of stress
  • Leads to changes on the genetic level in areas that control inflammation, aging, and insulin use

By calling upon our ability to relax, we can reduce the physical symptoms of stress. We also have the potential to reduce our use of the health care system since a majority of doctor visits are for stress-related complaints. We can take more control of our health.

Deepak Chopra has said “Meditation is not a way of making your mind quiet. It’s a way of entering into the quiet that’s already there – buried under the 50,000 thoughts the average person thinks every day”. When we regularly experience that quiet, it can also open a mental door that allows us to be receptive to ideas. In that way, a regular relaxation practice can also help us learn, be more creative, and think more clearly.

Life is a laughing matter

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Sometimes it seems like every day brings more bad news. My advice? Don’t forget to laugh.

Laughter can be profoundly healing. I recently read the results of a new study showing that laughter and humor were as effective as drugs for reducing agitation in a group of Alzheimer’s patients. Sight gags and verbal humor were used to get the patients to participate and react. Virtually everyone benefited, and the results were found to last beyond the duration of the study.

We are all born knowing how to laugh, although our sense of humor is learned later. Some people seem to laugh more “naturally” than others; but it is a skill that can be fostered and improved, and there are good reasons to do it.

  •  Laughter leads to immediate increases in heart rate, respiratory rate, and oxygen consumption (similar to exercise) and is followed by muscle relaxation, as well as decreases in heart rate, respiratory rate and blood pressure
  • A good belly laugh provides a physical workout for the lungs and abdominal muscles
  • Laughing provides tension relief in the neck and shoulders
  • Laughing may decrease stress hormones and enhance the immune system
  • Laughter is a distraction from negative thoughts and feelings
  • Laughter can provide social bonding with others

That’s why Dr. Madan Kataria started the movement known as Laughter Yoga back in 1995 in Mumbai. As a medical doctor, he was always intrigued with the concept of “Laughter is the best medicine”. So he started getting together with a group of people in a park every morning just to laugh — for no reason other than the joy of laughing.

Today Laughter Yoga has swept the globe and there are thousands of clubs in over 60 countries. People have joined together to laugh in workplaces, schools and public places. The groups have even inspired a documentary by Mira Nair, The Laughing Club of India.

Humor can be an advantage in the workplace, if used appropriately. Studies conducted by Melissa Wanzer of Canisius College have shown that employees have higher job satisfaction and view their managers more positively when the manager is perceived to be humor-oriented. She also found that humor can be a beneficial coping strategy for workers in high-stress occupations; and that students say they learn more from teachers who use humor in the classroom.

Laughter and humor may even protect you from heart disease. A University of Maryland study showed that people with heart disease laughed less often than others; and that they did not  turn to humor as often as others did in response to daily life situations.

How can you start bringing more humor into your life? Begin by not taking yourself too seriously. Learn to recognize the absurdity in certain situations and just laugh at it. Build a humor library of movies, jokes, tv shows and cartoons that you can turn to when you need a laugh. Here are some of my favorites:

Enjoy!

“We owe our children”*

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Nelson Mandela once said, “There can be no keener revelation of a society’s soul than the way in which it treats its children.” When I consider the somber headlines of the past week or so, I wonder about our soul:

  • Census data show that one in six Americans is living in poverty, including 22% of children last year (40% of black children).
  • Poverty has increased for four years in a row.
  • The proportion of children with at least one unemployed parent doubled between 2007 and 2010, and there is evidence that a parent’s job loss can have a negative effect on children’s academic performance.
  • A new study showed an increase in child abuse, specifically against infants, linked to the recession.

When children grow up in poverty, they grow up with chronic stress. Constant change and uncertainty in their lives causes biological responses that result in wear and tear on their bodies and minds. Long-term stress can damage the part of the brain called the hippocampus, which is essential to learning and memory.

This helps explain why many children who come from poverty don’t do as well in school, and are less likely to graduate from high school. According to the Children’s Defense Fund, they lag in both intellectual and emotional development, and they are more likely to become the poor parents of the future.

Even if your only interest is your self-interest, you should care about these statistics. The longer we have so many children living in poverty, the more our country loses economically from lower productivity, poorer health and higher crime rates.

Last Sunday’s Washington Post ran an editorial titled “Debt Reduction with Compassion”. It argued that we cannot reduce the deficit on the backs of the most vulnerable in society. We have to recognize how much people have suffered and lost during the recession, and not cut off the safety net for them. But how often do we hear the word “compassion” in the current political climate?

I’ve been thinking about what any one of us can do to make a difference for children. Here are some ideas:

  • Think about who and what you vote for. Which candidates are committed to keeping funding in place for programs that benefit children?
  • Be an advocate, in your community and beyond. Speak out about legislation and programs that are important for ensuring a happy and healthy next generation
  • Support teachers and education in your community.
  • Support the organizations that are working to change lives, such as:

Children’s Defense Fund – In existence for 35 years, this organization works to “ensure a level playing field for all children” and to “lift children out of poverty”

Feeding America – Works with a network of food banks to eliminate hunger in America; child hunger is a priority.

HIPPY (Home Instruction for Parents of Preschool Youngsters) – A parent-involvement, school-readiness program that operates on the idea that parents are their children’s first teachers.

Boys & Girls Clubs of America – Their mission is “To enable all young people, especially those who need us most, to reach their full potential as productive, caring, responsible citizens,” through programs in leadership, education, life skills, sports and fitness, and the arts

What do we want the soul of our society to look like? If we truly care about giving our children and grandchildren a decent life, then “all of us have to recognize that we owe our children more than we have been giving them”.*

 

*Hillary Clinton

Learning to feed ourselves

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Chances are that unless you are at least 40, “Home Economics” class didn’t even exist when you were in school, but could it make a comeback?

In a recent New York Times op-ed, Helen Zoe Veit, a history professor at Michigan State University, argued that we should bring Home Ec back to the schools as a weapon in the fight against obesity and chronic disease. She believes that teaching children to cook, and giving them information about nutrition, can empower them to take control of the food they eat.

As someone who loved Home Ec (my siblings called me “Suzy Homemaker”), I agree wholeheartedly. Here are the lessons I learned in home ec that I still use on a regular basis:

  • How to operate kitchen appliances, large and small
  • How to read a recipe
  • The proper way to measure ingredients (level!)
  • How to sew on a button

Those might sound like simple things, but I know many people who cannot do them, or more importantly, think they can’t. The most lasting lesson I learned was that I could do those things and do them competently.

Somewhere along the way, as our focus turned outside our homes, and our society became more technology-driven, we forgot how to take care of ourselves. These days, we abdicate feeding ourselves to restaurants, fast food chains and supermarket kitchens; we give our buttons to the tailor or dry cleaner to sew; and we often hire others to clean our houses, mow our lawns and rake our leaves. Would we be healthier if we took some of that back?

Just in the area of how we eat, here are some sobering facts:

  • Fifty percent of our meals were eaten away from home in 2010.
  • We consume 50% more calories, fat and sodium when we eat out.
  • The daily calorie intake of children is significantly affected by where they eat, and where their food comes from. The percent of calories from fast food is now greater for them than the percent of calories they get from school foods.
  • When families eat together, they eat more fruits and vegetables, fewer fried foods, and less soda. (For tips on making family dinners easier, see WebMD.)
  • Kids who have regular meals with their parents tend to do better in every area of wellness – they get better grades, have healthier relationships, don’t get into trouble as much, and engage less often in risky behaviors such as drinking and smoking.

Some middle schools and high schools do still teach cooking. In my local middle school, there are courses in “Family & Consumer Science” and “Foods & Nutrition”. The high school offers “Food Trends & Technology”. The problem is that these courses are electives, and with the pressure for academic achievement and improved test scores, I don’t think it’s very likely that they are going to become mandatory courses any time soon.

The time and place to start is elementary school, and there seems to be some momentum there:

  •  School gardens are popping up in lots of districts, with California seeming to lead the way (for example, Alice Waters’ Edible Schoolyard project).
  • Grants for school gardens are available from the Whole Kids charitable foundation.
  • The Slow Food in Schools Project offers many examples on their website of how to integrate food into the curriculum.

Perhaps the most visible advocate for better food and healthier kids is Jamie Oliver. He has brought together a number of organizations for his Food Revolution campaign. He has said, “The only message I keep hearing is that you believe your kids need better food, and that you want help to keep cooking skills alive.”

Another way of putting it: “Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish; and you have fed him for a lifetime.”

When you wish upon a tree…

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Just last week, I became aware that we have a wishing tree in Washington, D.C. It is located at the Hirshhorn Museum Sculpture Garden on the National Mall, and it is part of an interactive project conceived by Yoko Ono. She often saw wishing trees at Japanese temples when she was a child, and decided to make the Wish Trees part of her exhibits around the world.

So last Monday, I decided to get myself down to our Wish Tree and see what kinds of things people were wishing for. The wishes ran the gamut from the expected, to the poignant, to the humorous. People wished for jobs, better health, reconciliation and world peace. One person wished for “peace and prosperity for Africa”; another wished for a second term for “our great President Obama”; and someone else wished that it was okay for Washingtonians to be “just a bit more weird”!

Not everyone wants something for himself. Many write wishes with other people in mind. One person even wished that she could give up her wish so that all the others would come true. Those kind of aspirations made me think of the Make-a-Wish Foundation, which grants wishes to very sick children. Their mission is to enrich the lives of desperately ill children, giving them some hope and joy. They rely on a group of volunteers called “wish granters” to help realize the dreams of the children. One of these wish granters has said that “Helping them get their wish is the best feeling ever.”

So is it better to have my own wish come true, or to see someone else get their wish? The Bible says, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Does the good feeling of seeing another person happy last longer than our own gratification? I guess it depends on your perspective. We all fall prey to the ‘center of the universe’ trap, where we get so hyper-focused on our own problems and needs that we can’t see that someone else might have the same or worse situation. Whether we give a wish or another kind of gift, focusing on another gets us out of the trap, focuses our energies outward, and helps us be more positive.

Where do all the wishes go? So far, over 250,000 children have had their wishes granted by Make-a-Wish. All of the Wish Tree wishes are sent to Iceland, where they are placed in capsules around the Imagine Peace Tower on the Isle of Videy. About a million and a half wishes have been accumulated since the project began. The Imagine Peace Tower is a tower of light that is a tribute to John Lennon, and to his and Yoko’s campaign for world peace. It is a reminder that we are all connected by peace and love.

Imagine that.