February resolution: Have more fun!

January has seemed like the longest month ever to me. As it – finally – comes to an end, I wonder if that’s because I didn’t set out this year with any new intentions. I just eased into 2020 and almost immediately became bogged down in boredom, and maybe a slight case of seasonal depression too. I’m beginning to see that the new year’s resolutions I’ve always scoffed at can serve a purpose — giving this long cold month something to organize itself around.

If that’s the case, then even if you’ve already given up on your resolution (as most people have by now) it’s still done you some good. Just the process of setting a goal and creating a structure for achieving it stimulated your productivity. And if you managed to shed a couple of pounds, try some new form of exercise, or save some money you would have spent at Starbucks, then you’re ahead of the game.

inspirational quotes on a planner
Photo by Bich Tran on Pexels.com

But don’t give up now. Think of it this way: February is the shortest month of the year, so it’s that much easier to keep up with an intention for the whole month. How about reexamining those January 1 goals – can you tweak them? Or, as in my case, set a new one now?

I decided to turn to my “52 Lists” book for inspiration since its ideas are loosely organized around the calendar year. The prompt for week #6 (which roughly corresponds to where we are in the year) was just the ticket: “List the ways you love to have fun.” And then the action step: “Plan to integrate something fun into every day this week.” What a perfect way to set goals for February – instead of focusing on what’s wrong about self, focus on what’s not satisfying about life right now, and do something about it. In other words, put the spotlight on emotional and social health instead of the physical or mental.

I started making the list of things to do for fun, focusing first on the ones that get me out and moving:

  • Hiking
  • Ice skating
  • Seeing friends
  • Going to the movies
  • Exploring new neighborhoods
  • Trying new recipes

The book provides two pages to list all the ways to have fun, but I think I can start with this list. I got a head start by going on a 3-mile hike last weekend, which was the most invigorated I’d felt in a while. And I’ve been talking about going ice skating ever since Christmas – even though I haven’t gone to a rink in years, something in me wants to lace up the old skates and get out there. I think it’s because I remember the freedom and weightlessness of gliding around on the ice.

Skaters

How to put my intentions into action though? If step one was the list and step two is writing about them here, what comes next? Psychology Today has a good article on goal setting and creating an action plan. There I find out that my intention should have a time frame around it, and include some intermediate steps if they’re appropriate. So my action plan for today could include calling a friend to set up a lunch date; checking the web for the hours of the ice rinks; and reading the reviews of new movies so I can plan what to see and put it on the calendar.

Every day is a fresh start, but it may not be smart to just let a day, or a month, unfold any which way. We can have a plan, and still leave the door open for serendipity. Dwight Eisenhower said, “Plans are nothing; planning is everything.” I think he meant that it’s important to create the structure, but don’t make it so rigid that there’s only one particular way of reaching the outcome.

 

 

What do you want to add to your life?

A list, by its nature, has to have some importance. We make lists to organize our thoughts and to remember what we want to recall, and why would we do that if it wasn’t for something meaningful or important? Right now I have a grocery list in my purse and a to-do list on my desk.  On my iPad, I have a list of 100 books “That Shaped America”. Last week the “Best of 2016” lists started appearing. And a few years ago, Rosanne Cash even made an album called “The List”, featuring the songs her father had considered essential for her to know.

So lists can be made up of things that are the best, the most influential, or the most essential. And lists can be more mundane: groceries, names, chores, goals. The common factor is always, “Let’s not forget these things.”

For my birthday, I received a journal called “The 52 Lists Project“. The idea of the journal is to take lists beyond what we want to remember and into the realm of inspiration and insight. What do our lists reveal about us? Loosely organized around the calendar year, each week’s list challenges the writer to look a little more deeply inside.

List #48 asks me to “list the things you want to add to your life.” This is the time of year when many of us are expecting gifts, but list #48 is something different — the non-tangibles that I desire. Here is my list:

Joy/smiles/laughter — is there anyone who feels they have enough of these? Our world gives us so much to be serious and worried about, but how can we temper those thoughts with occasions of joy?  My inner child wants to delight in the glow of holiday lights and the beauty of new snow, to laugh at something silly, to smile at a loved one.zoolights-december-5

Civility & respect — These traits seem to have gone missing from society. A nearby Quaker church used to have a banner that asked, “How does your life help to remove the causes of war?” My question now is, “How can my life add to civility and respect in the world around me?” Can the way I think and talk about people, places and things (even in my own home) be a small step that contributes to a shift in the environment?

Volunteering — Our time and presence are powerful gifts to offer others. When we give help, most of us get just as much out of it as we put in. It’s an opportunity to put passions into practice; get out of our own heads for a while; and shift our perspective. It is also a way to experience humility and demonstrate respect for others.

Meditation — I’m in the middle of a personal 28-day meditation challenge. I especially like a 5-minute meditation I found on YogaGlo called “With empty hands, I take hold of the plough.” It helps me visualize the balance between letting go and holding on, as well as approaching each task with openness.Hand Reaching

Sleep — The Dalai Lama has said that sleep is the best meditation, but it is an ongoing challenge for me to get deep, uninterrupted sleep. Since sleep is so important for repairing the body, and contributing to a longer life, this will always be on my wish list.

Time with friends — It’s so easy to get caught up in juggling everyday life that time with friends often goes to the bottom of the list. But the nourishment that comes from these moments together makes our daily burdens so much lighter. As Henry Van Dyke wrote, “A friend is what the heart needs all the time.”

A list of 6 simple things to add to my life. Now I’ll see if it translates to action, or just procrastination!

Some lists endure longer than others. The grocery list might get tossed tomorrow; the book list will be marked up and crossed off; the to-do list will probably get longer. Some lists, like #48, serve as guideposts. Some, as Rosanne Cash discovered, become legacies. What kind of list are you writing this week?