Tag: stress

“No vacation goes unpunished”*

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With President Obama vacationing on Martha’s Vineyard this week, some in the press have had a field day discussing whether or not he should be taking time “off”. I doubt a president is ever truly on vacation, but I can think of some good reasons for wanting him to have some down time.

Cindy Aron, the author of Working at Play: A History of Vacations, has said that “we have a love-hate relationship with our vacations”. America’s history of a Puritan work ethic has meant that we tend to frown on idleness. While the wealthy always traveled, and went to spas for their health, the middle class started vacationing later. Many early vacation choices for them were actually associated with churches. If you went to a Methodist campground, there was less temptation
to indulge in idleness or other vices while on vacation.

Only since the 1950s or 1960s have paid vacations been a common aspect of employment. Most employees currently receive paid time off ranging from five to thirty days per year. Since the financial downturn, however, many people don’t feel comfortable taking all of their vacation time anymore. They are either afraid of losing their jobs, or worried that they will have too much work to return to now that companies have downsized so much.

Even earlier, a 2005 survey by the Families & Work Institute found that one-third of employees said they were overworked, and did not use all their vacation days. Half said they worked often during vacation, and one-third said
they were contacted about work during non-work hours.

Research on the health benefits of vacation, or the detriments of not vacationing, is sparse. A study that is often cited is one conducted in 2000 with the Framingham sample. It found that men who took annual vacations had a 30% lower
risk of dying of heart disease. Factors thought to play a role were reduced stress, more sleep, more socialization and more exercise while on vacation.

In 2005, the Wisconsin Medical Journal published a study of women who did not take an annual break from work, which found that they had more psychological health risks. A 2010 study from the University of the Rockies concluded that sufficient vacation time stabilizes mental health and contributes to “professional well-being”. Those researchers also found that a vacation’s benefits peak at 10 days, making a 10-14 day vacation just about perfect.

Some experts, such as Saki Santorelli of the University of Massachusetts Center for Mindfulness, suggest that we try to inject some of the qualities of a vacation into our daily lives at home. Getting more sleep and regular exercise, as well as practicing stress reduction techniques could help balance out the work vs vacation dichotomy.

At least one study backs up Santorelli’s ideas. It examined work engagement and burnout in a group of teachers. The researchers found that positive effects of vacation faded after one month; however, building more relaxation experiences into one’s daily schedule after vacation prolonged the vacation’s effects.

So, in that spirit, here are some tips for making both vacation days and work days better:

  • Consider whether you will benefit most from a very active or more relaxing vacation.
  • Don’t try to cram too much into your vacation. Make sure you actually take time to relax.
  • Set boundaries for work time, work calls and emails. Most of us don’t really need to be available 24/7.
  • Get outside every day, even if it’s just for a walk around the block at lunch time.
  • Take 5-10 minutes every day just to sit quietly and breathe.
  • Laugh. Milton Berle once said, “Laughter is an instant vacation.”

*Karl Hakkarainen

“A change is gonna come”

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My favorite line about change is one I saw a few years ago on the sign at a church near my house. It said, “When you change how you look at things, the way things look changes.” I love mulling over that line — it’s all about perspective, isn’t it?

Sometimes we choose to change, sometimes we expect change, and sometimes change is thrust upon us. But how we deal with it, from person to person or situation to situation, runs the gamut from graciousness to grumpiness to downright kicking-and-screaming resistance. The only constants are that change will happen and that we have a choice in how we react to it.

All change is potentially stressful, even if we welcome it, because it throws us off balance and out of our comfort zone. But since we cannot grow in our comfort zone, the ability to see change as a challenge or an opportunity has a lot of potential. It depends on what kind of meaning we attach to the change.

Daniel Gilbert, in his book, Stumbling on Happiness, wrote that “When the experience we are having is not the experience we want to be having, our first reaction is to go out and have a different one…It is only when we cannot change the experience that we look for ways to change our view of the experience…We find silver linings only when we must…”

Another way to change our view of experiences is to cultivate equanimity, or calmness.  In the August 2010 issue of Yoga Journal, Frank Jude Boccio talked about this quality of equanimity .  It is a “state of even-minded openness that allows for a balanced, clear response to all situations, rather than a response born of reactivity or emotion.” In other words, developing this quality within ourselves enables us see the truth of our circumstances more clearly, and to deal with them more appropriately.

An important aspect of cultivating equanimity is recognizing that we can’t control everything, much as we might want to. So it helps us accept the things that cannot be changed, as well as the things that aren’t important enough to change. It helps curb our tendencies to judge and resist the way things are.

Conversely, there are times when we want to make changes, and we rush to do too much at once. The starting point for all change is accepting where we are, and believing in our ability to change and to accomplish our goals. The most achievable goals involve small steps that, one after another, add up to big change. I always tell the people I work with at health fairs not to change too much at one time. Wait for one small change to become a habit, and then move on to something else.

Herbert Benson says that “change in our lives, because of our wiring and conditioned responses, is gradual and cumulative.” If you learned one way of doing something, you can unlearn it, but it will take time. So take a breath along with that first small step, and be patient with yourself.

 

Urban decay?

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The headline in the paper read, “Maybe it’s just crazy to live in a city”. Needless to say, it grabbed my attention.

While it was already known that mental health problems such as anxiety, depression and schizophrenia are more common among people who live in urban areas, new research (published in the journal Nature) looked at the brain to see how and why that happens.

Using fMRI scanners, researchers found heightened activity in the part of the brain called the amygdala when they assigned urban-dwelling participants to complete stressful tasks. One job of the amygdala is to assess social threats. People who lived in rural areas or small towns had lower levels of activity in the amygdala during the stressful tasks; in fact, the reaction increased as the size of the participant’s city increased. Researchers believe that city living may increase risk for mental illness by increasing sensitivity to social stress.

What is social stress? Basically it is any stress that occurs as a result of interaction with other people. For some it might amount to stress from events such as job interviews, public speaking, mingling at a cocktail party, or going on a date. For others, it might be triggered even in everyday interactions with people. Besides the greater risk for mental health issues, it is also linked to physical health conditions.

What is it about city life that makes it more stressful? The immediate things that come to mind are noise, pollution, and pace of life. But if the focus in this research was on social stress, how is that different in an urban environment? Certainly, crowding is one factor. Other possibilities are more diverse populations, more activities to choose from, and perhaps more roles to play. Each of these has the potential to increase the number and complexity of interactions with other people on a daily basis.

In rural areas or small towns, people may tend to see the same faces every day, have fewer choices to make about interactions, and have more personal space around them. Their potential for negative social stress is less.

Know yourself

The important thing to remember is that we all have different requirements from our environments. Some of us would be utterly bored with living in the country; others cringe at the thought of living in a city. Figuring out what suits you best sometimes takes trial and error. When I was younger, I lived in New York City for 6 months and developed the worse case of insomnia I’ve ever had. I came to the conclusion that the unremitting noise and stimulation hour after hour, day after day, was too much for me. Yet, if I spend too much time at a quiet beach retreat, I’m ready to go back to “real life” after a week or so.

This relates to something called the Yerkes-Dodson principle which shows the relationship between arousal and performance. It’s what is also called finding your “optimal level of stimulation”:

The line where stress increases to the point where performance (or quality of life) declines may be farther to the right or left, depending on each person’s capacity for stimulation.

Make space for yourself

Even if you thrive on the stimulation of city life, it’s important to protect yourself from the cumulative effects of urban stressors. For some, this might mean taking regular breaks from the city by getting away to a more rural, peaceful environment. If that’s not possible, then creating an oasis at home can help. Maybe that’s a certain space in your home that is calm and soothing. Maybe it is a space in your mind that’s created by a daily practice of meditation. It could also be achieved by finding or creating a smaller community for yourself within the larger community, people with whom you feel protected, safe, and comfortable. Whatever form it takes, the goal is to have a “place” where the stimulation is dialed down for a while.

What is your oasis? Leave me a comment to tell me how you create that space.

The power of friendship

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The support of friends is always welcome, but never more so than when people are suffering. I saw that firsthand during the past week when, tragically, my sister lost the person who was her partner, best friend and father of her children. It was a shock to everyone in their community to lose someone so young and vital. But people swung into action immediately, to surround my sister with love and support.

Her friends brought food and drink to her home, cleaned her house, mowed her lawn, and even took her dog to one of their homes so she wouldn’t have to think about him. They cried with her, comforted her, listened to her, hugged her and her children, and at moments, laughed with her. It was awesome to see.

Sadly, this support is limited in its ability to ease the pain in the days and weeks ahead, but my sister still counts herself lucky to have it. She knows that she is cared for and loved, and belongs to a network of people she can call upon for help. If what research tells us is true, the negative effects of this huge stressor will be buffered by the social support, thereby helping her stay strong and healthy for her kids.

That kind of support system didn’t happen overnight. It was built by forming connections with people over many years, connections that became increasingly more stable and complex. It was based on shared interests and activities, work and school communities, and sometimes, shared difficulties. It meant giving time, attention and commitment to building relationships.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, our brains are hardwired for connection, to make and sustain strong attachments to other people, and to feel empathy and compassion. I was impressed and moved these last few days by how these attachments can be such powerful sources of strength in times of need.

Training for Life

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Several years ago, when I was part of a boot camp fitness program, I was running one morning with my group. A woman passing by asked us “What are you training for?” Without missing a beat, our instructor answered, “For life.”

Today I’ve been thinking about this idea that we have to be ready for whatever life throws at us, the curve balls like divorce, job loss, deaths or serious illnesses. Sadly, too many people I know are dealing with some of those big life stressors right now. While we expect in an abstract way that our lives are going to have low points, it still can feel like a ton of bricks when we are hit with it. And when we have to deal day after day with the repercussions of divorce, or caring for a sick family member, it will tax even those of us with deep reserves of strength and good health.

Coming into a stressful situation with high levels of wellness in all dimensions can help people be more resilient and better able to meet the challenges. Physical wellness is very important, but it’s not the whole story. The 6 Dimensions of Wellness model emphasizes the whole person:

  • Physical – Do you have healthy eating habits and engage in regular exercise? Are you getting regular medical exams and engaging in self-care?
  • Occupational — Are you getting satisfaction from your work? Do you feel like you make a contribution to something? Does your choice of work align with your values?
  • Social – How are your relationships with family and friends? Do you feel that you have a support network you can call upon when needed? Do you feel connected to others in a community?
  • Emotional – How able are you to accept and express your feelings? Is your outlook on life more optimistic or pessimistic?
  • Spiritual – Do you feel a connection to something larger than yourself? Do you feel your life has meaning? Are your actions in harmony with your values and beliefs?
  • Intellectual – Are you a life-long learner? Do you take opportunities to be creative, to challenge yourself, and to share knowledge with others?

All of these dimensions make up your wellness path, and contribute to your ability to handle stress. Visualize your path right now, and think about an area you would like to improve.  Focus on enhancing your wellness in just that one dimension for now. Here are some ideas to get you thinking:

  • Physical – If your nutrition needs a boost, set a goal of eating 5 servings of fruits and vegetables each day.
  • Occupational – Evaluate your current job. Can you develop a new skill for use there or in your next job?
  • Social — Reach out to someone you’ve been missing. Make a date to go out with friends. Plan a neighborhood get-together.
  • Emotional – Start writing down your feelings in a journal. Watch a funny movie to lighten your mood with humor.
  • Spiritual – Take a walk in nature. Get involved in helping others. If you have been religious in the past, think about reconnecting with your faith.
  • Intellectual – Set a goal to read a newspaper every day, or a book each month. Perhaps sign up for a class on a subject you’ve always wanted to learn.

Wherever your path takes you, and no matter how many bumps in the road, I wish you ease and well-being in body, mind and spirit. Train for life!

Natural Wonders

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Sitting at my desk this week, all I hear is the sound of birds chirping, singing and calling to each other. The distant sounds of the highway fade away to the background. Even the neighborhood dogs can’t compete with the birds in springtime.

I was so taken with the bird sounds a few days ago that I found a web site where you can click on the name of the bird and hear a recording of its song. Check it out at http://www.enature.com/birding/audio.asp

Relaxing sounds can soothe people, lower our heart rates and stimulate production of endorphins. Of course “relaxing” is in the ear of the beholder; but for me, the sounds of the birds are in that category. There is a reason why so many recordings of guided meditations tend to focus on images of nature, such as waterfalls, mountains, beaches and forests. The natural world has the capacity to nurture us, make us feel calm and supported, even improve our sleep. But thinking about connecting with nature leads to the unfortunate fact that many of us just don’t spend enough time outdoors.

Most alarming is the fact that children don’t spend nearly as much time outdoors as they used to, in fact only half as much time as they did twenty years ago. Very few play outside on their own, yet research shows that unstructured free play in the outdoors has many benefits to them – ranging from doing better in school, to being more cooperative, to just being healthier overall.

Something as simple as a view of nature helps to reduce stress in children who are highly stressed, and daily proximity to nature can help children focus, even reducing symptoms of attention deficit disorder. Playing in nature also serves the important purpose of giving children the opportunity to take appropriate risks, solve problems and develop creativity, which can lead to enhanced self-esteem.

So many benefits! Yet finding the time, a safe space, adults who are comfortable enough in nature to guide children – all are barriers. Luckily, a few organizations are working to make sure that the next generation has a taste for nature:

  • The Children & Nature Network, whose mission aims to “give every child in every community a wide range of opportunities to experience nature directly”, has tips on their web site for starting your own family nature club, along with other ideas.
  •  The No Child Left Inside Coalition is an advocacy group with almost 2,000 member organizations from across the country that seeks to raise awareness in Congress and among the public of the need for more environmental education in schools. The coalition was formed after many programs were cut in the wake of the No Child Left Behind Act.

As Thoreau once wrote, “We need the tonic of wildness … We can never have enough of nature.”

The Space Between

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The other day my yoga teacher was talking about pausing between breaths, and how that relates to taking moments of stillness between life’s activities. I thought about how we tend to focus on what we do, hear, say and see rather than on what we don’t. A couple of years ago, I went to a concert where the musician commented that the space between the notes is still part of the music. When I teach communication skills, I remind students that silences are still part of a conversation. White space in an advertisement is part of the message. And not doing can often help you get where you want to be.

Too often, we have the urge to fill those spaces between. We barely wait for someone else to finish talking before we begin. We fill all the space on the page with words and pictures. We fill our houses with stuff. We fill our days with activity after activity. We are uncomfortable with silence, we mistake simplicity for emptiness, and we confuse activity with accomplishment.

In his book, Wisdom 2.0, Soren Gordhamer suggests that our stress and irritation whenever we have to stop and wait for something (traffic, checkout lines, slow computers) might come from our disconnection with our inner life.  We just feel uncomfortable being alone with our thoughts and feelings, even for a few minutes.  To restore that connection, Gordhamer recommends viewing these forced pauses as an invitation to relax, to breathe, and to take a break. Yes, it’s frustrating to wait when you might already be late, but since you cannot change it, accept it as a gift. Use the time to breathe deeply and notice what’s going on around you, and “be present as you wait.”

I tried this yesterday while waiting in line to pick up a prescription. Everyone in front of me was taking a long time. But I didn’t get impatient; I just waited, and breathed. I even let the person behind me go ahead of me because he seemed to be in distress. I felt pretty good when I left the store – at exactly the same time, but in a much better frame of mind, as I would have left if I had been fuming the whole time.